Don't be a party to underage drinking April is Alcohol Awareness Month, and it's a good opportunity to start talking to your child about this subject. As young people enter adolescence and begin to experiment with risk-taking behaviors, alcohol use is often one rite of passage in which many teens participate. The attractiveness of such drinking to teens is multifaceted - at a time when they are feeling physically and socially awkward, it relaxes them and makes them feel more comfortable interacting with their peers. At a time when the importance of "fitting in" is paramount, it is a substance - legal for adults and often thought to be innocent - with which teens experiment, both alone and with their friends. Unfortunately, many teens do not do well with alcohol. They often drink to get drunk, and when intoxicated, may do things that they later regret. Unplanned and unprotected sexual experiences, driving intoxicated or riding with an intoxicated driver and experimentation with illegal drugs and cigarettes are all risky adolescent behaviors seen with underage drinking. Many teens drink even in the early years of adolescence. The average age of the first use of alcohol in New Jersey is now 11 years old! By the time students reach eighth grade, nearly half of them have had at least one drink, and one in four report having been "drunk." Although it may appear that your child doesn't listen to you and seems scornful of your advice and intervention, they need to hear from their parents that alcohol use before the legal age of 21 is unhealthy, illegal and unacceptable. Don't be afraid to lay down the rules - believe it or not, kids are looking for boundaries and don't want to disappoint their parents. If you need help starting a conversation with your teen about drinking, go to www.theantidrug.com for some help - there are wonderful resources there to get the ball rolling. And here are some helpful tips when helping your teen plan a party (before you know it, endof year parties and graduation celebrations will be here): • Help plan with your teen any party to be held in your home. Help make the guest list and limit the number to be invited. Send personal invitations to avoid the dangers of "open parties" • Put your phone number on the invitation and encourage calls from other parents to check on the event. Think about inviting some of the other parents to help during the party and to help you supervise to ensure no alcohol or drugs are present, and to help invite uninvited guests to leave • At the party, limit access to a specified area of your property. Make sure there is plenty of food and soft drinks available. Make regular, unannounced visits to the party area throughout the evening • If your teen is attending a party at someone else's home, call the parent to verify the details and to ensure there will be adult supervision and no alcohol served • Know how your teen is getting to and from the party. And be aware when your teen arrives home. Seeing and kissing your child good night is one way to detect if alcohol or drugs were used • If you are going away for the weekend or on vacation and plan on leaving your teen home alone, be direct and set clear expectations, ground rules and consequences if you think your teen might be tempted to host a party. Notify your neighbors and ask them to keep an eye out - and leave the phone numbers that should be called in the event of a problem or an emergency • As responsible parents, don't be a party to teenage drinking. Talk to your kids and make sure they know you are concerned for their safety • Always remember that you or any adult who serves alcohol to underage youths, or who is aware of it being served to underage youth on their property, may be legally responsible and liable for any damages that result. Let's work together to help keep our children healthy, safe and drug-free. Barbara Sprechman Director of Community Services Prevention First Ocean